TALK. Welcoming your au pair

Monday, 24 October 2016

MAKING IT EASIER TO WELCOME YOUR AU PAIR

You are about to become host parents, maybe for the first time, maybe the ninth and you are scurrying to get things ready for your new au pairs arrival. It is an exciting, but anxious time for everyone. What will this new person be like? Will you remember what they look like from your Skype chats? Will they know what to do when they arrive? As host parents, you are opening up your home, so it is important to do what you can to make it a successful experience for everyone. We hope this document helps to answer some of the common questions about having an au pair living with you, and give you some great tips to guide you on your journey!

What can I expect from my new au pair?

Jetlag and culture shock! In the beginning few days, your au pair will be excited to meet your whanau, but also very tired. Remember, they have been on such a long journey to get here and just completed our Orientation Course that gives them lots of vital information, but is rather draining. Give them time to settle in over their first weekend and take things at their pace. Invite them to engage with your tamariki, as they may be a little unsure how to get involved at first.

How to prepare for your au pairs first working week?

Whether you are able to take a few days off to induct your au pair or maybe you need to head back to work there are lots of things to remember. Having your host family handbook and a weekly schedule filled out and available for your au pair to use through the day is a great tool to provide. This way your au pair has written information to refer back to throughout the day especially if you are heading back to work. In the first week your family and programme manager will come over to meet with you and your au pair, before this meeting please make sure that your host family handbook is filled out, you have read and understood the employment agreement, and that you have rectified any health and safety concerns.

Building relationships and becoming part of the family

It is important to form relationships with your au pair in the first few days, making them feel welcome and part of your family. In these early days they may be missing home and their normalities, and often English is their second language so it is good to be mindful of miscommunication. Giving your au pair positive feedback each day when you arrive home is a really good way to build their confidence in their new role and open up the lines of communication. Your au pair might have a few questions about the role and want to check that they are doing things correctly and meeting your expectations. Sometimes things can be done differently than you are used to and you may find that this becomes frustrating. It is really important that you verbally communicate your thoughts and feelings and open up the lines of communication to get things off your chest. This also helps your au pair to make changes to meet your expectations and eliminates any teething issues that you may be experiencing. Setting aside some time each week gives everyone the chance to talk without feeling like they are interrupt each other's weekly plans. You can talk about how the week has been, what you au pair is finding difficult, what they may need feedback on, and what things have gone well and they have enjoyed.
Your children will also be adjusting to the change of having someone new in the house. Whether they have had an au pair before or this is their first au pair, it is natural for your children to test the boundaries of your au pair to figure out who they are and how they fit into the family. They will also naturally come to you as parents first and foremost while they are building trust and respect for your au pair. It is important for you to encourage positive behaviour and opportunities to create special moments, so they too have the opportunity to create an amazing relationship with each other.

Getting out and about

You may notice in the first few days your au pair is feeling tired and goes to bed early this is completely normal and they often only take a few days to adjust. Later in the week it might be good to encourage them to get out and about, whether this is to meet other people or go for a run. Au Pair Link offers a number of outings and events to get your au pair out and about, and meeting new friends. We run weekly coffee groups where au pairs gather together to meet one another. This gives them the opportunity to get out of the house one night and also gives you some family time together. At these coffee groups they are able to make travel plans, build their network of friends and comfort from au pairs going through the similar feelings and emotions. Au Pair Link playgroups give your au pair the opportunity to see some examples of activities they can do at home with you children and gives your children the chance to meet other children and build on their social skills while having fun and exploring new experiences in a safe environment with the support of a family and programme manager.
Au Pair Link also offers events for your au pair; these are on the weekends and give the au pairs the opportunity to explore New Zealand as we offer a wide range of experiences throughout the country. We also have child events which run during the weekdays which give your children the opportunity to meet with other children and try new activities alongside the au pair. It is great to encourage them to come along to these as they will have things to look forward to each week, they will meet new people and we get great group discount when booking.

Driving Expectations

In the first week we have a one week driving stand down period. During this week it is a great opportunity for your au pair to be a passenger in the vehicle to get a feel for how the roads, corners and roundabouts work here in New Zealand. Once your au pair is comfortable enough to give driving a go it is a great idea for you to be the passenger and give your au pair some lessons. If you do not have time or do not feel comfortable to do this we recommend autosense who we work closely with and the au pairs are familiar with as they present the theoretical driving presentation during orientation. They have offered Au Pair Link families discounted driving lessons at $60 per lesson. Once you are comfortable with your au pairs driving ability you can encourage them to drive by themselves and then with your children in the car. We always recommend driving in the day light in these early weeks.

"Our Au Pair has changed our lives from manic to manageable, from chaotic to calm, from stormy to sorted!" - Flack Family